There's no respek on my name

I had this teacher in college who is brilliant.  The man is at the top of his field, headed the department, wrote all kinds of papers, chaired international organizations and made solving differential equations seem easy as algebra but he had a flaw.  Every now and then, he wore these jeans that had a hole between the legs from where they rubbed together.  You could see it when his back was turned as he was writing on the board. I know he put those jeans on in the morning thinking, no one can see this hole.  We all saw the hole.  It was like, "oh great, he's got the jeans on...again."  We were embarrassed for him. It couldn't have been a money issue.  He was Dr. Such-and-Such, insert numerous accolades here!  He was being frugal.  Long story short, Alan and I now refer to holes of that nature as a "Such-and-such hole"  and giggle madly about it (I'm not writing the man's name, my blog doesn't need to clown him in a google search, he's Brilliant.)

One of the downsides of weight gain is your clothes get tight.  My clothes are tight.  I've bought just a few items to get me through this phase of life.  I hope to be done with these clothes quickly.  One thing I haven't bought is jeans.  I refuse.  So my jeans have been holding on for dear life.  Some have said, "hell-no-dammit-JUST-NO-GOT-DAMMIT-I-SAID-NO" and won't even come past my hips.  The two pair that are managing to hold on...have begun to develop the "Such-and-such hole."  I want to wear them but I can't.  With my luck, my intern would see it and deem it the "Whatley hole," tell all her friends about it, sneak a pic of me and the "Whatley hole", snapchat it and make a meme of me when my back is turned - she don't care about me, I'm not brilliant like Dr. "Such-and-Such", so there's no respek on my name!!!

So what do I do?  Well today I wore jeans that downright felt like they were going to split if I bent over.  I'll make it through the rest of the work week with dockers and if push comes to shove, I'm going to buy some old navy jeans to carry me for a minute.